50+ Reasons Why Your Website Sucks

14 Nov
2008

50 Reasons Why Your Website Sucks !

There are just so many websites out there today on the internet that really suck n’ blow beyond the imagination of any single person. But if your a webmaster who is truly dedicated to their website then you should read a few lines and learn something.

(Side note ** If your looking to switch hosting servers then check this site out)

Keep in mind some pieces should be taken as a grain of salt or for satirical humor while others are accurate.

Enjoy the Knockout list

50	Poor Choices of color schemes may have the unintentional effect of raping your reader’s virgin eyes. Or maybe you’re intentionally trying to cause seizures in people with epilepsy.
49	When you talk to your friends do they bother you by telling you how great the magic blue pill is ? Didn’t think so, the general rule of thumb is NO popups. Besides , do you know anyone who doesn’t use a popup blocker ?
48	Your Website takes longer to load than it does the D.M.V. to call your name.
47	Your content sucks bad man !
46	Your site’s layout is just bad or overly generic and boring. If this is the case then it’s time to hire a designer.
45	Adsense is not suppose to make up 75% of your website’s design.
44	Did you know that if your hosting server sucks , then you too will equally suck more ! (“Shared Hosting” servers this means you)
43	Pissing off your users intentionally sounds like a fun thing to do but in most cases , broken first impressions are not easily repairable.
42	Your logo header sucks and looks like a 4th grader designed it with clipart.
41	Your the king of sucking if Google n’ Firefox both declare your website as a malicious attack site.
40	Shoving 90+ b.s. keywords into meta data is a stupid thing to do and will get your site penalized.
39	If you force people to register or signup to view your site then you my friend have just taken sucking to a whole new level.
38	WTF lol , stop writing like this ! & STFU because last time I checked english was the L33t language. Get it ?
37	Screw IE 6.0 cuz it’s an abomination of mankind and everything it touches .
36	If you steal content from other sites your a scandalist sucking fraudster!
35	Excerpts wannabes apply here to suck
34	Unless your a bum with a laptop living in a cardboard box behind a tacobell , don’t ask for donations via paypal. Cheap tacky & SUCKS!!
33	Websites that declare themselves gurus of marketing tactics such as shoemoney and the other “self-proclaimed-gurus” piss me off. They all suck beyond all comprehension because all they do is declare how much money they make and how great life is visiting blogging conferences. It’s like the old saying “give a man a fish and he’ll have been fed for a day but teach a man how to fish and you’ll have fed him for the rest of his life”
32	If your site isn’t in the top 100k of alexa OR compete , it sucks (does not apply to you if your site just launched or under 5 months old)
31	A site that has a never ending list of affiliates so long that it ends up overtaking the sidebar menu is just a complete joke for an attention hungry who*e.
30	Webmasters that take credit for other people’s works , scripts , etc are the scummiest of sucky scumbags. (I’ll write an article about copyright protection)
29	Websites with no fresh original content is jibberish.
28	Sites sending me to a chain of other sites with no real answer of what I was looking for should be sent to jail for par-taking in a pyrmaid like scheme.
27	Websites that claim they have 650k+ rss feedburner readers are lying their @$$e$ off and make me wanna puke all day long. Chances are if their alexa/compete rankings don’t correlate then they fraudin’ bro.
26	I will make deem you the Suck master if I clicked your website via google SERPS thinking I would have found the information I was looking for when the reality of the matter is your website has 0% related information.
25	Imitation sites suck ! I dont’ want another myspace duplicate , another facebook site duplicate , You get the picture , simply recycling ideas is not a unique thing to do. Not to forget to mention I’m sick of the abundance of rediculous social sites already out there and growing by the day.
24	WebMasteRs wHo TyPe LikE DiS suck-@$$
23	Websites that have review articles about a certain product that look fair to the average reader , USUALLY have a link to the product at the end of the review. 9/10 times the link is a referall link like. http://Blabla.com/product5.php?id=”YourNameHere” THIS SUCKS
22	I can’t stand those darn sites that use full page ads that then say , wait 10 seconds or “skip ads” , you know what I’m talking about ! The sad part is even large sites like Forbes.com uses this tactic.
21	Hi it’s 2008 ,just stopped by to ask if you’ve heard of my friend called “SPELL-CHECKER”
20	If it’s things that suck and ruin my day it has to be 404 “page-not-found” errors to websites I was looking foward to surfing.
19	Webmasters that don’t even bother to even try to comply with SOME CSS Standards should have their genitals electrocuted by 450 volts every 5 minutes.
18	A website that can’t even make 1 penny in 1 day with Google Adsense is a mega-lol-failure.
17	Your Website tries too hard to cater and please everyone. (Don’t try to become the “Walmart” of websites , just stick to one niche and you’ll be successful targeting your market)
16	The navigation of your site is a freaking rat-maze , Why would you want me to work so hard to find the dam archives , There better be a nice cold beer at the end !
15	No on wants to hear crappy music that auto-plays. If people want they can turn it on themselves.
14	Nothing is more sucky than having to read outdated useless information.
13	One of my pet-peeves that tick me off are the sites out there that Disable the BackButton or the sites that pull you back not lettin you backout. YOU SUCK!
12	Hidden contacts and codes suck , don’t lie to my face !
11	Tracking cookies & spyware on your websites SUCKS N’ BLOWS just don’t do it , it’s a big no-no.
10	Unless your an artist with a portfolio , I don’t want to “Click to Enter” because those trends SUCK !
9	How much flash do I have to endure ? Overuse of this parlor trick is overkill for any site just use it when you have to. It’s sprinkle on the cake not the actual cake itself.
8	If your website’s hyperlinks are not user-friendly you really suck , who’s gonna type in http://yoursite.com/blabla-wow$nov/12/blalalala>=3893043289403289043 (You get the picture) This is also pure hell for mobile users on the go.
7	Your Domain Name Sucks ! , No one in today’s day and age wants to see the regular B.S. , Market your site and BUILD A BRAND !
6	If your website is using some kind of crazy @$$ font that no one in their right mind would use in their CSS your not sucky your insane !
5	Your website isn’t interesting to me , You can’t sell your ideas to me !
4	Inconsistent design, make sure that your entire website has a unified theme otherwise your going to confused the readers
3	Visual appeal does not mean excellent user experience, if your users have a hard time navigating the site then they will not visit it.
2	Flash Intros -> Dead already so stop using them, try using Technologies like Flex and Flash as supplemental aids ex: Sidebars and menus but don’t over do them.
1	Audio & Video, Don’t have them play on their own PLEASE